Hurricane Laura is bearing down on Houston, and yesterday the Houston Chronicle published a very sensible list of food items Houstonians should stock up on. This list included bread, crackers, trail mix, granola bars, precooked beans and grains, all kinds of canned food, and beef jerky and Spam for protein. Plus one…

It’s no secret that we’re living in an era where brands are acting particularly thirsty. Vita Coco responded to a mean tweet with a photo of an employee holding a jar of urine, Natty Light gave away an actual (surprisingly nice) “dorm room”, and Good Humor asked RZA to create a new ice cream truck song. So, it’s a…

Here at The Takeout we like to be judicious in selecting promotions to share with readers, only reporting on those most likely to surprise or delight. It is thus our duty to inform you of a new campaign from Heluva Good!, makers of assorted cheeses, dips, and condiments, because it involves the shiniest star in the…

Update August 25, 2020: Hear ye! Hear ye! The Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte is back today, August 25! This is the earliest PSL release on record, three days earlier than the original rumor. Rejoice! It’s 90 degrees, perfect weather for thinking about warming spices and fuzzy sweaters. Go get it.

Update, August 25, 2020: In case any KFC devotees (or marketing teams) held out hope that somewhere out there, the phrase “finger lickin’ good” would remain unsullied by the global pandemic, we regret to inform you that, nope, it’s not a good look anywhere on the planet. KFC has announced via a press release that its…

The morning, McDonald’s announced that on September 16, I shall be passed out in their parking lot after consuming no less than 100 brand spankin’ new Spicy Chicken McNuggets. This is the first major innovation in McNugget technology since they were first introduced in 1983, which means if they’re not very good,…

The phrase “restaurant of the future” has been thrown around a lot. It usually referred to some exciting new mechanism for ordering or receiving food, like placing orders through telephones on the table, or putting coins in a slot and getting your meal through a little door, or maybe sitting at a table on a large…

Have you heard of ipnot? The mononymous Japanese textile artist has been embroidering since her grandmother taught her as a child, and she now creates stunning works of edible-looking thread that make for some mesmerizing YouTube videos. Both the process and the final product are a thing to behold, but you’ll…

Not all heroes wear capes—some, like Sonja Nixon Frazier, wear a Taco Bell uniform.

With the exception of bacon, the most common breakfast sandwich ingredients—eggs, cheese, sausage and ham—are quite soft. One can add textural contrast by toasting the bread (or adding hash browns or bacon). Or you could do all of that, and also add crispy, golden onion rings.

Last summer, my son and I took a road trip to Lancaster County in Pennsylvania—colloquially known as Amish Country—to visit six all-you-can-eat smorgasbords in two days. Primarily this was an excuse to eat slices of Pennsylvania Dutch pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner under the guise of mother-and-son bonding, and…

Wine has become very horny. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but every bottle of red you see on shelves lately is called something like “Fornication” or “Sensual Eagle.” The labels themselves are soft-core porno, usually featuring excited imagery like a woman whispering into a man’s ear or a bunch of cupids planning…

Did you know that the concept of macaroni and cheese dates back to 13th-century Naples? I certainly did not, until reading Jeffrey Miller’s ode to the dish over at The Conversation. I also didn’t realize that by the time Chicago cheese salesman James L. Kraft patented his groundbreaking blue-box product in 1937, the…